Headline: “Unveiled: Trump’s Border Control Idea Involves Giant Trampoline Fields to Bounce Off Intruders!”

Dateline: Washington D.C., December 17, 2023

In a shocking turn of events, leaked documents obtained from a former White House staffer have exposed a startling facet of Trump’s border security strategy: the installation of colossal trampoline fields along specific stretches of the border to deter potential intruders.

Among the documents were purported quotes attributed to Trump himself, endorsing the outlandish plan. “Nobody builds trampolines better than me, believe me. They’re tremendous. These trampolines will be so big, so bouncy, it’ll be impossible for anyone to cross,” the leaked statement attributed to Trump read.

The revelation came through a former senior advisor to the Trump administration who spoke under strict anonymity. “President Trump was enthusiastic about this idea. He believed that the visual impact coupled with the physical deterrent of bouncing off intruders would make crossing the border nearly impossible,” the source disclosed.

When asked about the authenticity of the leaked quotes, the former advisor claimed, “Those were his exact words. He was convinced this was the ultimate solution to our border security challenges.”

Surprisingly, this proposed plan had evoked a mixed reaction within the administration. While some officials reportedly supported the idea as a novel approach, others expressed reservations about its practicality and potential risks.

In response to the leaks, the Department of Homeland Security refrained from confirming or denying the existence of such a proposal. “Our efforts to explore various border security solutions are ongoing. However, specific details on strategies are not disclosed publicly,” their official statement read.

Experts in immigration policy, however, voiced concerns about the feasibility of such an unconventional idea. “While innovative approaches can sometimes revolutionize security measures, the implementation of a trampoline field along the border raises significant safety and circumvention issues,” noted Dr. Emily Rodriguez, a border security analyst at a leading think tank.

The leaked documents did not pinpoint the locations slated for these supposed trampoline fields. Despite the uproar caused by this unconventional aspect of the proposed border control strategy, there has been no official response from the Trump camp regarding these leaked statements or the trampoline proposal.

As debates persist over the effectiveness of existing border policies, the emergence of this bizarre revelation further complicates the discourse on border security and immigration control.

For now, the veracity and potential enactment of the trampoline fields along the border remain uncertain, leaving experts and the public contemplating the practicality and plausibility of such an unprecedented approach to safeguarding national boundaries.