Sofia “Buff Girlfriend” @sofiabuffgf

Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it’s transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.

  • kinther@lemmy.worldEnglish
    1·
    4 months ago

    Using just toilet paper is like if a bird shit on your arm and you used toilet paper to wipe it off. There’s still shit on your arm - you’re still dirty and need to wash it off. Bidets are really superior in every way.

  • toasteecup@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    4 months ago

    Yeah that don’t track. I poop on company time and walk away with a pampered butt thanks to my bidet. Feels fantastic and clean.

  • modifier@lemmy.caEnglish
    0·
    4 months ago

    I relate to this on such a deep level. I really dread using any toilet that doesn’t have a bidet now. I can’t figure out why they aren’t everywhere . It has to be better for the environment.

    • OmnomnomOom@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      4 months ago

      Go for a portable one. Be clean and proud. Nobody is gonna ask you about the flask-thing anyway unless they want one. https://www.happypo.de/ No idea if it has a translated site, but it’s quite butt-forward anyhow.

      • shottymcb@lemm.eeEnglish
        0·
        4 months ago

        We have those in the US as well. They’re meant for women who just gave birth to clean their privates. The hospital gave my wife 3 that we got to take home since they can’t reuse them.

        • Ephera@lemmy.mlEnglish
          0·
          4 months ago

          Bidets can generally also be used for lady parts, but it isn’t just for that. In the link, it does call itself “butt shower”.

          • shottymcb@lemm.eeEnglish
            1·
            3 months ago

            Yeah, but this “portable bidet” is literally the exact same product that has been marketed towards post-partum women in the US. I mean that literally, it’s the exact same product made in China, marketed by some slimy western asshole as a “revolutionary portable bidet!!!1!11!”

  • DessertStorms@kbin.social
    0·
    4 months ago

    I know corporate overlords wish there could be, but I don’t think we’re at the point of having someone in there with you to check that you’re actually pooping just yet…
    So poop at home, then just sit there and catch up on your scrolling on company time…

    • krashmo@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      4 months ago

      Do you guys have that much control over when and where you poop? I see this idea of “just hold it in until you get to your preferred location” fairly regularly and that seems insane to me. It’s not like my poops are an imminent emergency every time but I definitely couldn’t hold it in more than an hour or maybe two on the high end, and that would be pretty uncomfortable. That’s not enough time to get home in many cases. In other words, when it hits, I shits.

      • DessertStorms@kbin.social
        0·
        4 months ago

        I generally go once in the morning (going from being horizontal in bed to being vertical out of it usually does the trick) then I’m done for the day. But even if I have to go again I can generally hold it at least for a bit unless it’s a food poisoning type situation… ¯\(ツ)/¯

        But then, digestive systems vary widely, so all that matters is what’s normal for you.

        • Bo7a@lemmy.caEnglish
          2·
          4 months ago

          This sounds like heaven to me. Pure. Heaven.

          -Crohn’sGang

    • Rolando@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      4 months ago

      to check that you’re actually pooping

      AI will do that soon. Until then, managers can ask employees to donate vacation hours to make up for people who take too long in the bathroom.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    4 months ago

    I don’t think I’ve seen a post that spoke so strongly to me

    That said. Working at a Japanese company has some perks like this in particular

    • Phoonzang@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      4 months ago

      I got to learn to love those bidet toilets through my frequent (extended) work travels to Japan. Got one for myself at home when the bathroom was up for renovation. Now I am dreading any work trip to not-Japan because I’ll have to shit like a barbarian for that time.

      • Hanrahan@slrpnk.netEnglish
        0·
        4 months ago

        I’ll have to shit like a barbarian for that time.

        I try and pre poop for this reason, if going to town and get caught out etc

        Smearng shit around your asshole with paper might have appealed to 8yr old me but no longer is it the mischievous fun it was in the long ago.

        It was also bemusing to see the great TP shortages of the Covid era and snicker