¿Qué?

Every single time I get naked.

It’s a chore.

Dry rape? Bro it’s a torture thing today

But don’t you know condoms burst at the sight of my shlong? It has nothing to do with the fact that the sight of naked me dries up a pussy quicker than a fucking hairdryer.

that’s what she said

Making car-pedestrian collisions safe is a ridiculous idea failed to doom from the start. Cars are big and hard, people are small and squishy.

I think the key is to prevent cars and people from coexisting as much as possible.

And she absolutely kills it.

Or horny.

Emulators are what I miss from android. GBA has one of the best libraries of any console, plus there’s the custom rom scene. And I have this absurdly powerful phone that can’t run any of it.

Domains were seized.

I wouldn’t buy an automatic bike, coz I ride bikes for fun.

The daily get-to-work shitbox? I don’t want to babysit the gearbox, just do your thing while I chill to some tunes.

Also no one else being there.

Also being in my home.

Also getting to work in pants.

So I guess nothing, then 👌

There you go, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Thanks!

Or, you know, you slammed the the bit you held into the body of the phone with a satisfying “pling”.

Now get off my lawn.

The only reason you get that title, on either count, is that we decided to brexit.

(Using the word “decided” in the widest possible sense)

I just bought it the other day and went in blind with a friend. My god is it an insane game.

My friend isn’t even an engineer and he was talking about refactoring.

I’ll make an engineer out of him yet, you’ll see.

That’s what they always say, but no one considers the starting conditions.

Imagine you’re fighting a dead fat guy. Sounds easy, right? 300kg of dead weight just waiting for you to bury your fists in it.

But now imagine the fat guy starts next to you, standing. Can you stop 300kg of dead flabby dude from burying you? Didn’t think so. You’re gonna die a gruesome suffocating death under some guy’s quadruple chin because you didn’t consider the implications.

Come on. Be better, people.

I thought you fed on sovereignty like the rest of us?

You’re missing out, bruvva

Wait, thats is very different from what I read back in the day. I know there was a point at, I dunno, android 5 where they started doing something different with java, but my impression was that android always ran a JVM of sorts. And frankly, given how it performs even on the highest-end devices, that was really easy to believe.

I guess I need to do some research now.

Interesting, I always thought it had to do with Android’s ungodly software stack which at some point involves, of all things, fucking java.