Every single long term relationship I’ve ever been witness to has been defined by either eventual resentment between partners, or a pervasive sense of apathy between them. The people I’ve seen who really “make it last” aren’t affectionate towards one another after being together for decades: they’re codependent. One person supports another person’s narcissism and the other person facilitates their partner’s alcoholism. That sort of thing.
On a more fundamental level, I’m not sure I even believe that the concept of lifelong partners or lifelong marriage is natural for human beings. Being a part of a community, sure, but being emotionally attached to the same person in the same way forever? Not really. I think it’s in our nature to constantly grow, and that typically means growing apart. In fact, that might be a lot healthier for people than the alternative.
Right. That’s why I didn’t say “it’s impossible for things to be this way,” but instead said “this is what I’ve seen.” It’s possible that I’ve just happened to see the worst of long term relationships by virtue of bad luck or environment. I don’t discount that possibility and I’m not saying that my limited experience of the world represents the sum total of all human potential.