imagine if we pooped little pellets like goats

ok then it was for matted hair.

was the shaving on the belly? means it might have already been fixed. if it has one ear tip missing, it’s definitely been fixed

local rescues and hardware stores usually have live traps for rental. you have to leave like a $75 refundable deposit but you get it back as long as you don’t break this trap.

also a lot of pet shops tend to have scanners available, you can call around to see if there’s one closer

dude. I was at a Christian rehab center several years ago. this one kid came as a resident, his parents having been missionaries in Western Africa.

he kept having “seizures”, except he was completely conscious during them, he would just have fits where he would collapse to the ground and have uncontrollable muscle spasms. I’m pretty sure it was a form of panic attack, but some Christian hypnotherapist had hypnotized him, and “uncovered” a “suppressed memory” of some random African dragging him into the woods and putting a curse on him at knifepoint. when he was having a fit, one staff member would hold his head in a pillow to keep him from hurting himself, and somebody else would read the bible over him.

somehow, this curse was strong enough to overpower the word of god, but not a handful of xanax.

because few people in this society spend money on something that makes other people’s lives easier.

the reason you were able to download it is because other people were seeding it. that’s why seeding is helpful

thagomizer

this is the second word that Gary Larson has added to the English language.

yes.

gee I wonder how long it will be before I can download the custom patches to get around this

kicking heroin

somebody flat out told one of my friends that he was going to be copying his answers for a math test. so for every answer, my friend added 12.3, waited until the other guy turned his test in, then went back and subtracted 12.3 from all of his answers.

I mean this isn’t surprising to anybody. plenty of luxury cars stolen over here to get shipped to the middle east

yep. I used to work on a paving crew, you have to wear long pants & sleeves no matter how hot the weather because the mix is coming out of the truck at 300°F and you don’t want any molten flecks getting on your skin. 75% of the crew has partially melted boot soles, but one of their wives just showed up with a box of joe in an insulated hot bag

it’s never too hot for hot coffee

don’t listen to the people telling you to put it in rice. putting it in front of a fan will have a much better drying effect. ancient people didn’t preserve stuff by putting it in rice

this is interesting and whatnot, but during WW2, US research indicated that jellied gasoline (napalm) was a far more effective incendiary than thermite when it comes to burning wood.

somebody else’s kidney

no, but alligators and puffin.

my basic understanding is that people wrote intentionally advantageous descriptions of the animals when submitting them to the Vatican for approval or something. like they just stressed how much time the animal spends in water and not much else, and the pope wrote back saying “yeah that’s okay”

beavers and capybara are classified fish by the Catholic Church